Q: Is the glass half full or half empty? A: It’s both

Photo by Manki Kim on Unsplash

I just had an experience I was nervous about, and it turned out fine. This happens a lot. It was like a textbook example of anticipatory anxiety that ends up being overblown and, in retrospect, seemed totally unnecessary. Or, as Seneca said (it never hurts to quote a big-name Stoic), “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”

That got me thinking about optimism and pessimism. I recently read a book called “Toxic Positivity,” and I can see where too much positive thinking can be harmful, especially when it’s used to try to suppress awareness of reality or to shut another person down.

But I’m also a big believer in learned optimism (there’s a book for that too). Expectations can influence reality. It’s not as simple as the peppy saying would have it:“If you think you can, you can, and if you think you can’t, you can’t.” It’s more like: If you think you can, you’re more likely to see opportunities because you are looking for them, and if you think you can’t, you’re more likely not to notice things that would have been good for you or that you would have enjoyed.

And I think there is a way to reconcile the idea that deliberate optimism — positive thinking — can open up your life, while recognizing that, used in the wrong way, positivity can be harmful.